Don't Just Mall A Woman

I've saved some money to get my girlfriend something special for her birthday. I know what she likes at REI, Pottery Barn, and Williams-Sonoma, but nothing feels special enough. Perhaps I'm an idiot for asking you, a stranger, what to get the woman I know and love, but maybe you can point me in the right direction.

--Stumped

Too bad the two of you aren't cats, or you could just come by with a dead cricket between your teeth. But you are wise to think outside the cardboard box. Researchers Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton write in "Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending" that the purchases that ultimately make us the happiest are not material things but experiences. They cite research showing that new "stuff" soon stops giving us the same zing, while experiential purchases not only contribute to our sense of self and our connection with others but get more meaningful over time through the stories we tell about them. Also, they never need dusting. So, instead of deciding between the espresso machine that'll guess her weight and the one that gets basic cable, think about an experience she'd really love. It could be a Champagne balloon ride or driving a racecar around a track (nascarracingexperience.com). But fret not if these are too pricey. The research suggests that even when people spend just a few dollars, they get more lasting pleasure from an experience than a thing. And even when experiences go wrong, like a romantic picnic that ends in horrible poison oak, they tend to be viewed fondly in hindsight. Your girlfriend may not have asked for a series of hydrocortisone injections for her birthday, but years later, she'll be laughing with you and friends about that and not the story of how you once got her a bowl from Pottery Barn.