Doctors Without Borders

My normally very sweet boyfriend told me that the doctor who gave him his physical was hot and flirted like she was into him. I told him he could've kept all that to himself. He said that she just is hot and that if she were ugly, he would've told me that instead. Clearly, he was checking her out, and I think it's disrespectful to tell me about it.

--Dismayed

A person might "get points for honesty," but if he's somebody's boyfriend, he'll get lots more points if his honesty involves statements like "The lady doctor who just palpated my groin was a ringer for Lou Ferrigno." Most people get that merely having a thought isn't reason to release it and let it bound around like a puppy. That's a good thing, because contrary to what women want to believe, pretty much all men are checking out all women at all times. That said, if your boyfriend is a sweet guy, chances are his message wasn't so much "She's hot" as it was "I'm hot. Hot women want me." The implication being "Better hang on to me!" Let him know that hanging on to you takes respecting what you don't want to hear. As for the doctor's intentions, considering the prospect of license revocation and men's tendency to mistake friendliness for interest, it's possible she saw something in him -- and probable it was something like two benign polyps.