Dial Another Day

Is it really that inappropriate to give a girl your number instead of asking for hers? I met a cool girl at the gym. We really seemed to hit it off, and I asked whether we could get a drink sometime. She said yes, and I said, "Here, I'll give you my number." She said, "Um, don't you want my number?" Well, I just offered her mine because she had her phone with her and mine was in the locker room, but apparently she was offended. Really? Who cares?

--Hung Up On An Issue

Giving this woman your number and expecting her to call you is like the lion saying to the gazelle, "Would you mind coming over here and killing yourself, and then I'll eat you?" For millions of years, there's been a natural order of things and it involves men chasing women, and it hasn't heard of Gloria Steinem and doesn't care that your phone is in the locker room. Sure, women these days may sometimes pursue men, but when you want a woman, do you really want to walk away without her phone number and hope she'll call -- which most women won't do? Also, chances are, expecting a woman to call you comes off a little insulting -- telling her you're interested in her, just not interested enough to lift a finger and touch it to phone buttons 10 times. In other words, the thing to do was to toddle off and get a writing implement and a scrap of paper so you could take down this woman's number and call her, not try to rewrite male and female psychology and dating practices for your convenience: "Great meeting you! I'll just be sitting home painting my toenails and waiting for the phone to ring."