Deck The Halls, Not The Guests

At a Christmas party, a drunk man made a lewd comment to my wife. When she told me about it afterward, I got angry and told her I wanted to approach him and tell him not to disrespect her. She said that only crazy people do that and that she was sorry she'd even mentioned it. Isn't demanding that he apologize to her the right thing to do? What man just lets this go?

--The Husband

Historically, men fought duels to defend a woman's honor when her virginity was called into question. Just wondering: Is there any real worry that people at the Christmas party now suspect your wife has had sex after marriage? Sometimes you make a situation worse by taking action. This would be one of those times. The guy was drunk (which means you may have to remind him of what he said before demanding he apologize for saying it). He's creeped on your wife only once; he hasn't started following her around the supermarket, muttering that he'd like to jingle her bell. By chewing him out for what seems to have been a passing drunken incident, you would probably turn it into a lasting incident, creating lasting social discomfort for your wife. And as endearing as it is that you're raring to go all Sir Lancelot on the guy, by showing your wife you can't hold back, you'd likely cause her to hold back news of anything more emotionally charged than a spilled drink. Save your energy for offenses with a continuing negative effect, like the neighbors who leave their blindingly bright Christmas display up until Easter, making every moment you spend in your living room feel like a year being interrogated by the East German Secret Police.