Debt Valley

I'm a single chick in my early 30s, and I'm having financial difficulties. I got laid off, and depressingly, it's really hard to find work. Though I want to talk to my friends about it, I'm afraid they'd think I was trying to borrow money, so I've been keeping to myself.

--Unemployed

When you've been unemployed for a while, it becomes awkward to propose get-togethers: "Hey, wanna go out on Friday night for a glass of air?" However, avoiding your friends is probably making things worse -- or at least keeping you from feeling better -- because social relationships seem to buffer stress, including stress from one's currently grim "socioeconomic status." This term, explains social psychologist Emily D. Hooker, refers to "an individual's relative rank in society based on their income, education, and employment." Hooker notes that lower socioeconomic status -- whether measured by such things as income and occupational prestige or mere perception of one's own status -- is associated with higher mortality and poorer health. (Great, huh? You're not only short on cash; you're being rushed into an urn.) But there's good news from Hooker's research. When participants were exposed to social stress in a lab situation, those who perceived themselves to have lower socioeconomic status but felt they had social support from others in their lives had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol (as compared with those with a more "Eek! I'm all alone!" orientation). As for you, guess what: People who care about you want to know what's going on with you. Ask your friends to join you in activities that don't cost money, like gallery openings, and they'll get that you're just looking for company, not moocher-tunities. You really can have both the support and fun of friendship and a bank account that resembles one of those shells of a building in the Old West with a few tumbleweeds blowing through it.