Dater Processing

I'm casually dating multiple people and stressing about what to do when a man wants to see me again but I already have a date. Do I lie and say I'm hanging with a friend? I'm looking to have a serious relationship, and it seems bad to have it based in dishonesty from the start.

--Busy Woman

Because we can all disseminate massive quantities of information about ourselves doesn't mean we should. In fact, if you took all the utterly inane revelations off Twitter, you could probably run the entire enterprise off an old PC in somebody's garage. Until you get serious with somebody, all he needs to know is that you "have other plans," not that you're "going out with Jason tonight, and he's a foot and a half taller than you and makes lots more money." Keeping mum about the details isn't dishonesty; it's tact. Anybody emotionally healthy and socially intelligent gets that you aren't going to be his one and only by the third date. The only information you do owe him is whether you might give him another shot -- or cause him to need one to eliminate painful urination, night sweats, and weeping sores.