Curb Feelings

Does approaching a woman on the street and asking her out ever work?

--On The Prowl

Sites with dating tips for men encourage them to approach women on the street: "Just walk up and say hello! All you have to do is be confident!" That second part is very good advice, because then you'll look less like you're dying inside when the woman treats you like you just walked up and said, "Hi, my name is Rapist!" Instead, use what social scientists call the "foot-in-the-door technique." Various studies show that when you get a person to agree to a trivial first request (like signing a petition), they're more likely to say yes to a more substantial request that follows (like donating money to the cause). In France, psychologist Nicolas Gueguen sent three men, ages 19-21, out on the street to approach 360 women, about the same age, and ask them for a drink. When the men asked straight-out for a date, only 3.3 percent of the women said yes. When they first asked women for a light (for a cigarette) or directions and then the drink, 15 percent and 15.8 percent, respectively, agreed to go for a drink. Researchers are unsure why this works, but it seems that preoccupying a woman with helping you at least gives you a shot at distracting her from the directions you really want: "Could you tell me the best route into your pants?"