Cheatapalooza

I recently married and should be bathed in newlywed bliss, but a rock star in a famous alternative band wants me to have an affair with him. I'm shocked and thrilled, to say the least. My conscience says, "Are you insane? You love your husband and chose him for a reason. Don't jeopardize that!" But I'm also hearing "You only live once, and thousands of women wish they had this guy's attention."

--Chosen

You said "I do," not "I'd do a rock star first chance I get." (If only you'd known you'd meet this guy, you could've asked your husband for the indie rock star exception to lifelong fidelity.) Yes, thrillingly, of all the hipster girls in black-rimmed glasses and earnest T-shirts worn ironically, he wants you. This says something about you -- probably that you are conveniently located, reasonably attractive, and don't seem the type to poke holes in the condom. Wow. The romance. You're buying into groupiethink -- the idea that you're somebody if you have sex with somebody famous. But, he's just a guy. He stinks up the bathroom same as any other guy. Okay, the fame fairy touched him with her magic wand. Maybe not because he's so much more talented than the next guy with a guitar but because he was in the right place at the right time with the right chin. If his gig were at the coffee shop instead of Coachella and his panting fans were his two dogs tied up outside, would your panties still be flying off? Remember that guy you stood next to in the big white dress? Weren't you two eventually supposed to be holding hands in twin rockers on the porch of the old folks home? If you're going to jeopardize everything you have with him, just be clear on what you could end up having and holding instead -- a 50-year-old memory of some musician whispering those romantic words every woman longs to hear: "How 'bout we have sex for a couple hours and then I see if there are any other cute girls outside the tour bus?"