Callused In Wonderland

I live in a warm climate, and the girl I'm dating walks around barefoot everywhere and her soles are really black and callused. I've jokingly dropped hints like "Jeez, it looks like you just stamped out a fire!" but she just laughs. She's a really great girl, but when I glance at her feet, my attraction takes a serious nosedive.

--Defeeted

On the bright side, if you ever lose her in a mall, finding her should just be a matter of following the trail of black paw prints. Sympathetic friends will offer helpful suggestions, like that you should get her a pedicure (which will solve absolutely nothing) or do something "sexy" like washing her feet for her before bedtime -- an activity that's got to be about as libido-boosting as power-washing bird poop off your roof. You're likelier to get what you want (periodic daily footbaths? feet encased in Saran wrap?) if you make a sweet, direct request instead of just dashing off jokes about it. But while asking might sway a partner to curb an icky habit like absentminded nose-picking, chances are your girlfriend isn't randomly going barefoot; she's probably into it. Ultimately, you'll probably need to figure out where you (and your libido) draw the line. Sure, it's a shame to break up over this, but the reality is, one man's "Okay, whatever" is another's "Yick. Lemme outta here." If you're thinking dirty thoughts in bed, it shouldn't mean fantasizing that your girlfriend's ankles would come with mudflaps.