Call Wading

My ex-husband and I were married for 19 years. We've been divorced for two, and have two sons, 17 and 20. He married a woman five years older than my oldest son. Amazingly, that's not my problem. It's that he calls with the pretense of checking on the boys, then talks about old times, and drama old and new. I realize his wife's so young that he can't start conversations with "remember when," but I need to move on with my life.

--Getting Yammered

You, too, need to start a conversation with "Remember when," as in, "Remember when you divorced me and married that other woman?" He could be delving into the milestones of her life, like where she was when Britney and Justin called it quits. Not surprisingly, he seems to prefer adult conversation with a woman who knows who he is and where he's been. Inform him, kindly and politely, that from now on, you'll only talk about the children; that is, the children you gave birth to. He's made his bed, and tucked a very young woman into it, and it's time he focused on things they have in common, like how 10 years ago, he was driving carpool and she was riding in one.