Boys 'R' Us

How successful are relationships where the woman is much older? I'm a 21-year-old guy with a 38-year-old girlfriend. I'm frequently hit on and teased by her female friends. They don't seem interested in me as a person but want a younger guy for sex. Being referred to as "the toy" is getting old.

--Annoyed

Age difference? What age difference? Meanwhile, your girlfriend isn't sure whether to offer you a cigarette after sex or a plate of animal crackers. It's the rare 21-year-old who has much to tell a 38-year-old, beyond "Your shoulder's putting my arm to sleep." Sure, there are older-younger relationships that work, but you two don't have a relationship; you have playdates. How do I know? Because friends don't hit on friends' boyfriends so easily. Yeah, it happens. But, when it happens with frequency, it's a sign of how your partner feels -- and talks -- about you. If you want a relationship, that's what you should have. Just find some sweet girl closer to your own age; in other words, somebody more likely to draw hearts around your name than straws to see who's next in line to play with her toy.