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APPLIED SCIENCE EXPERT AMY ALKON
Empowering you through science for your best health and boldest life
Boyfriend-Be-Gone
Renee
I've been dating this great guy for a few months. We both like each other a
lot, but I don't think either one of us knows where our relationship is going
to go. I've just been invited to a friend's wedding, and I was told I could
bring a date. I really don't want to go alone. Should I ask him?
THERE ARE A LOT of creative ways to get rid of unwanted boyfriends. Few, however, top the effectiveness of White Lace/Rental Tuxedo Boyfriend-Be-Gone, otherwise known as a premature invitation to a new man in your life to be your date at a wedding. No matter how innocuous your intentions, he'll still end up feeling like a hunted animal (which is all the more uncomfortable when one is garbed in a tuxedo and doofy black patent leather shoes.) If you must bring an escort, invite your postman, the guy who reads your meter, or some skinny stranger who looks like a few pieces of seventeen-layer wedding cake would do him good. At some later date, should this guy's status change from new boyfriend to unwanted boyfriend, you needn't wait until a wedding invite crosses your transom to get rid of him. In a pinch, dragging him in to browse Baby Gap should do the job quite nicely.
--Tuxedo Junction
THERE ARE A LOT of creative ways to get rid of unwanted boyfriends. Few, however, top the effectiveness of White Lace/Rental Tuxedo Boyfriend-Be-Gone, otherwise known as a premature invitation to a new man in your life to be your date at a wedding. No matter how innocuous your intentions, he'll still end up feeling like a hunted animal (which is all the more uncomfortable when one is garbed in a tuxedo and doofy black patent leather shoes.) If you must bring an escort, invite your postman, the guy who reads your meter, or some skinny stranger who looks like a few pieces of seventeen-layer wedding cake would do him good. At some later date, should this guy's status change from new boyfriend to unwanted boyfriend, you needn't wait until a wedding invite crosses your transom to get rid of him. In a pinch, dragging him in to browse Baby Gap should do the job quite nicely.
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