Boy Meats Girl

In the wake of the penis photo tweet that started "Weinergate," I'm wondering whether women are actually turned on when they get a photo of some dude's package.

--Curious Guy Who's Never Done Such A Thing

Note that there's a restaurant called Hooters but none called Testicles. While men get aroused by visuals alone, women typically need touch and emotion. Dr. Meredith Chivers' sexual arousal studies show that women do get turned on by video of strangers having sex (including, weirdly, strangers who are bonobo chimps), but strange men's disembodied bits really don't do it for most. (What, you were expecting "Wow, you stuck a cameraphone in your crotch just for me?") Once a woman's involved with a guy, she might be into the occasional peen-mail. But, emailing a woman you don't know a shot of your naked trousersaurus is like hitting on her at a party by unzipping your fly and letting it all hang out: "Will ya look at this! Impressive, huh?" At least on the Internet, you won't hear her run away screaming, "Eeeuw! Gross! Creepy!" (or howling with laughter as she hits "forward"). Sure, emailing your meat takes less effort than buying a trench coat and heading down to the corner, but it's about as bad an idea. Generally speaking, the only package a woman wants coming to her from some stranger via the Internet is one from Sephora or Zappos.com. (Think new shoes, not new schnitzel.)