Blocked Swan

A friend basically called dibs on a guy we were talking with at a bar, whispering to me right away that she found him really cute. I was bummed, but backed off. We all exchanged e-mails, and vowed to hang out when he's back in town. He e-mailed me, and we've been writing a lot, and have lots in common. I confessed this to my friend, and she seemed surprised and jealous. Now, he's coming back -- just to see me. Did I overstep friendship boundaries? Should I cancel?

--Guilt-ridden

The first one to remark on how glorious the sunset is doesn't get to take it home. The same goes for some cute guy at a bar. You've got to appreciate the male way of doing things. They'll get into a fistfight over a woman and then buy each other a beer; women get into a whispering game about a guy and then won't speak to each other for 20 years. When your friend remarked on this guy's looks, that was your cue to say, "Omigod! I'm into him, too!" Canceling now isn't the answer. It'll only make you resent your friend. If she truly is a friend, she'll want you to be happy. She did try to pull a sneaky on you, but she ultimately knows that admiration isn't the fast track to possession -- assuming her typical reply to "Cute dress!" isn't "Unzip me, and it's yours."