Bad Stare Day

Do men fall in love at first sight more than women do? My male friend says it's mostly men who'll see a woman from across a room or subway platform and fall for her. Yeah, I know that happens. Don't women do this, too? Like, a lot?

--Wondering Dude

A guy's claim of "love at first sight" plays better with the ladies than "I wanted to spend eternity with your boobs." Research by psychologists Andrew Galperin and Martie Haselton finds that men, far more often than women, report experiencing "love at first sight." However, they conceded that "some men might be reporting some episodes of sheer sexual desire as 'love at first sight.'" (Ya think?) This sex difference in love at first sight aligns with the different pressures ancestral men and women had to contend with to survive and pass on their genes. Because women alone get pregnant from sex, female emotions evolved to push women to take the slow route in mating -- to assess a man over time for his level of commitment and character -- lest a woman end up with a baby daddy who's all "Beep, beep! -- I'm outta here" like the Roadrunner. Men, on the other hand, have an evolved sexual business model of volume and variety (kind of like Walmart). However, because ancestral men could bolt right after sex and still have a chance of leaving surviving descendants, it was in men's evolutionary interest to hook up with an endless parade of hot-erellas. As I often mention, female features we think of as beautiful -- like youth, clear skin, an hourglass figure, and pillowy lips -- are actually cues of health and fertility. So, not surprisingly, male mating imperatives evolved to be visually motivated -- "Do you look like the woman for me?" -- in a way female ones did not. Ultimately, though evolved male mating psychology is pushing you -- even today -- to be eyeball-driven, understanding its origins can help you be mindful to take a step back and put in the time to explore a woman's character. This may help keep you from jumping into a relationship with some woman who turns out to be an extremely hot sociopath. As you might cry to your friends, "I'm so confused; she seemed so genuinely interested in me -- wanting to know where I bank, the name of my first pet, and the last four of my Social."