As Fat Would Have It

I've been on about 20 dates with girls I met online, and 15 of them were much heavier than they were in their photos. I'm getting a little tired of this. Is there some acceptable way to ask a woman how much she weighs before you meet up?

--Narrowing 'Em Down

There's that saying, "The camera adds 10 pounds." Well, the Internet often subtracts 50. (Not to worry, all that weight will be back in place before you can say "Starbucks at 3?") But, sorry, you cannot ask a woman how much she weighs -- or even poke around in that direction: "So...what's the most candy you've ever eaten at one sitting? And, are you sitting on any candy right now?" Internet dating has its pluses -- instant access to loads of potential partners -- and its plus-sized minuses: those big surprises you've encountered on three out of four dates. Just think of them as a price you have to pay for the easy access -- a sort of high technology fee. In the future, assume everyone's lying and be pleasantly surprised when someone isn't. To keep your emotional costs down, try to get women to meet you as soon as possible for a quick drink instead of carrying on at length by phone and e-mail. This should help keep you from getting attached while spending weeks learning everything about them and then finding yourself on a date unable to ask the one thing you're really dying to know: "So...when was your picture taken? And of whom?"