Appease And Carats

My fiance broke off our engagement. The ring was his mother's. She's left messages, asking to talk -- probably about the ring, which my ex accused me of "hijacking." That bothers me, as does knowing the ring was never really mine. Friends are telling me to keep it.

--Miffed

Think of the ring like the toilet in your apartment -- something that's all yours, but not to take with you as a keepsake when you move on. Because it's jewelry, it seems like a gift, but it's really a symbol of the marriage to come. If nothing's to come, the ring should come off and find its way back to its original owner. Yeah, your fiance was a jerk. And it's tempting, when people are jerks, to jerk back -- which means letting who you are be dictated by others instead of living by your own standards. If you're just looking to keep the thing, be honest about it. Otherwise, maybe be glad you're only removing a ring, not looking for a tattoo artist who does decent enough cat and mouse heads to turn "Tom and Kerry Forever" into "Tom and Jerry Forever."