Along Came Polygraph

My girlfriend is really insecure and gets furious that I meet my ex-girlfriend for lunch a few times a year. This ex and I broke up years ago, but I'd never cheat anyway, and I've explained that I have zero romantic interest in her. Still, she's a good friend and part of my life. How can I make my girlfriend understand?

--Badgered

Some people read poetry; your girlfriend lives it: "How do I love thee? You'll soon find out -- after I attach this car battery to your nipples and interrogate you about your lunch." Although your girlfriend's the one coming at you with the clamps, the truly unreasonable person in this relationship is you -- dating an insecure person and then expecting her to act otherwise. Sure, you could encourage her to build her self-esteem, but until she hits bottom -- like in a breakup -- she probably has no incentive to change. You need to either accept the trade-offs -- the hassle, the not being trusted -- or leave and get into a relationship where, as the saying goes, "love means never having to say 'I'm sorry the shackle attaching you to the basement wall is a little tight.'"