Adjusting The Shudder

I'm an okay-looking guy, but I look terrible in photos. I am joining an online dating site and don't know what to do about my picture. I can't afford a photographer.

--Unphotogenic

Some people's photos look best with some clever cropping. Apparently, yours look best if you crop out your head. Part of your problem is that you probably think of taking "a" picture (or three) instead of doing as professional photographers do -- taking maybe 1,000. This basically means staging a photographic accident, meaning in at least one of the 1,000 shots, you should accidentally look like yourself or even better. A novelist friend of mine, Sonya Sones, author of The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus, takes some fantastic photos of her various traumatized author friends. She says people look best when the photographer shoots from a little above them and advises against using a flash -- ever -- because "it makes people look ugly. Period." She suggests shooting outdoors, in the shade: "In the sun, people get hideous haunted-house shadows under their eyes and noses, which is not a good look unless it happens to be Halloween." I'll add that you should experiment initially with different angles to find your best and try some shots in which you're doing something you enjoy -- fishing or grilling or playing poker -- so you'll forget to freeze and look awkward. Put in a little effort and you could soon be posting a picture that's more NotBadLookingGuy123 than Quasimodo456 ("You had me at 'Hell no!'").